Go Ahead Cheat its…Healthy?
I love askmen.com. I log onto that site daily. If anything I log on because some of the articles really aide me in figuring out why my boyfriend leaves the toilet seat up, or why he puts his dirty dish on top of the dish washer rather than putting it in the dish washer, or why he thinks its ok to skip a shower for two days just because he can’t smell himself. But sometimes they go waaaayyyy toooooo farrrrrrr. In an article written in March of 07 “Relationship Correspondent” Curt Smith says “in some cases cheating may be beneficial to a relationship”, “Cheating is not always bad; surprisingly, it can help to improve current relationships”. “men stuck in long-term relationships feel they are missing out on something” Is this guy smoking crack or is it just me? I mean what exactly is a “relationship correspondent” I’m praying to GOD that its not an informal way of saying “relationship expert” because expert he is not.
I’m sure that anyone who has been in a relationship has experience some sort of infidelity at some point. Whether it be you that was unfaithful or them. I have been on the receiving end of cheating and let me tell you it is not healthy nor is it beneficial. If anything it put such a strain on the relationship that I was never able to let it go. I continued to accuse him of being unfaithful even though I knew he hadn’t been. It was just because he HAD been unfaithful and I could never really be 100% sure he would remain faithful to me just because of the fact that he had cheated in the past. I drove myself crazy. I cried A LOT! I didn’t understand why he did it, and often times I wanted to hire a hit man to take care of him (I know some folks who will take a baseball bat to knees for the right price). But none of the thoughts, feelings or emotions that I experienced during that time were HEALTHY. They were the farthest thing from it and not only was it NOT beneficial to the relationship it made me question if the relationship in general was beneficial to me at all. Even the good times we had (and we had some GREAT times) were obsolete and all I could think about was him being with another woman.
Love and commitment is hard enough. It’s an everyday challenge to keep two totally different individuals spontaneous and excited about sharing their life together. My current boyfriend is a computer geek who owns his own companies and finds websites like google, myspace and myyearbook.com to be the best creations since the internet came into existence. I am a girly girl who spends her entire paycheck on clothes, shoes and hand bags, likes to go out and party and stays as far away from her computer as possible unless she is working or making a post on chickchats. I think what we have in common is the fact that we are fascinated with each other and we want to learn as much as we can about one another, but individually we bump heads about certain things and disagree on certain issues. Its hard enough to find a balance where two people can remain sane in light of everyday quirks that we don’t understand about each other. But, to throw cheating into the mix makes the relationship even worse, because now you take the focus off of the things that make you grow as a unit and your focus is immediately distributed to the infidelity.
Cheating is in NO WAY beneficial or healthy for a relationship. And I personally think Curt Smith wrote that article without researching it first. I know of couples who have cheated and who have been cheated on and they stayed in the relationship. I even know a couple who condones constant cheating and their married (swingers). It’s really an individual decision to stay in a relationship that has been tainted by infidelity. But, any action in a relationship that inflicts emotional pain on someone is not healthy or beneficial.
What do you think?
Tiana