Are Men Serious with this? 

I have a love/hate feeling towards askmen.com.  This morning I loved them and this afternoon I hate them and would love nothing more than to tie its creator(s) to a chair and make them watch reruns of ”Designing Women” all day.  I usually read askmen.com because it gives a lot of insight on the tick of a man.  Not that I agree with everything they publish, but some of the articles really do allow me to get beyond my own “female” biases to a more open-mind about the way men interpret certain “relationship” issues.  In my older post “Cheating is Healthy” I developed a somewhat disgusted feeling towards some of the writers of askmen.com.  In the latest article I read “Training Your Girlfriend” writer and “relationship correspondent” Matthew Fitzgerald gives men tips on how to make a girl obey his every command by saying “A girlfriend can make a best friend and ideal companion, but like any bitch (female dog, that is), she needs to be taught how to act around the house. So you have to set the ground rules early by enrolling her in your own private obedience school.” he goes onto say that women try to do this to men first, by basically witholding sex until she can “train him to be what she calls a “gentleman” yes ladies he said that too.  All I can say to that is if any man has to be trained into being a gentleman how can he even begin to claim himself as a man in the first place.  It’s sad and a bit hurtful to read that a ”relationship correspondent” on a highly visted online magazine condones men to “train” their girlfriends and wives like dogs.  I love my boyfriend to death and to think he would agree with something like this would put a high amount of doubt in my mind on the furture of our relationship.  Here are the 9 reason according to askmen.com that men need to train their girlfriends/wives:

1. Agression - She’s out of control and constantly acts up.
2. Whining - She doesn’t like to be left alone.
3. Barking - Yap, yap, yap. She talks insessently. But the problem is that she goes on and on and on about nothing.
4. Disobedience -Like a dog, she is hard to train. No matter what you want, she always insists on getting her own way, then throws a tantrum or cuts off sex if you oppose her.
5. Begging - She always “begs” with her hands on her hips — never on all fours.
6. House Destruction - You just can’t leave her alone in your place. You go out for a few hours to play golf, and when you come back, your autographed Bears poster and leather couch have been replaced by flower prints and a shrimp-colored loveseat.
7. Not Fetching - An improperly trained girlfriend doesn’t know that she should always bring you a beer without having to be asked.
8. Chasing - An untrained girlfriend will abandon you and run after any male who happens by with a few baubles and a Porsche.
9. Not being housetrained - Girlfriends are notorious for not knowing how to put the toilet seat back up.

So in light of this horribly frightening top 9 list.  I’ve created some notes and insight on why I think men can sometimes be FULL OF SHIT!!!!

Agression - She’s out of control and constantly acts up. - I wouldn’t call it “acting up” I’d say its more like shock of the fact that men can actually be stupid enough to create a list like this…..and believe it!

Whining - She doesn’t like to be left alone. - Matthew Fitzgerald should talk.  In my mind his entire article is nothing but whining.

Barking - Yap, yap, yap.  She talks incessently. But the problem is that she goes on and on and on about nothing. - Sorry we thought you might have entered this relationship because you actually cared about what we had to say.  Our mistake. We’ll buy you a blow up doll you can masturbate to on our way out of the relationship while we go to a man with a bigger dick and nicer car.

Disobedience -Like a dog, she is hard to train. No matter what you want, she always insists on getting her own way, then throws a tantrum or cuts off sex if you oppose her.- I don’t understand why men believe women withhold sex.  If the sex is good we want it just as bad as he does and as often.  And you’re right we always want our way which is usually your way as well if you’re a man worth dealing with.

Begging - She always “begs” with her hands on her hips — never on all fours. - Oh wait my bad I thought begging was what men wanted Foreplay Tips.  The writers of askmen.com should really converse with each other before posting articles.

House Destruction - You just can’t leave her alone in your place. You go out for a few hours to play golf, and when you come back, your autographed Bears poster and leather couch have been replaced by flower prints and a shrimp-colored loveseat. - Come on now don’t fib.  You mean you come back home to flower prints and shrimp colored loveseats after we’ve removed your milk crates for furniture and shower towels for curtains.  If you want us over so much at least have something for us to sit on.

Not Fetching - An improperly trained girlfriend doesn’t know that she should always bring you a beer without having to be asked. - How can we get you another beer when your lush ass has already drank the case we bought 10 minutes ago.  And drink something other than beer….you’re starting to smell!

Chasing - An untrained girlfriend will abandon you and run after any male who happens by with a few baubles and a Porsche - Yea, just like a man will abandon you and run after the first sight of silicone and peroxide he sees walking down the street. 

Not being housetrained - Girlfriends are notorious for not knowing how to put the toilet seat back up. - House trained?  Well in #7 he expects us to know where the fridge is to grab him a beer I’d say we know our way around the house pretty well and get fed up with trying to show you where the hell everything is, and what if I put the toilet seat back up would you be smart enough to actually get the piss in the bowl or will you still miss and get it around the rim of the toilet that you expect me to clean once a week because your too lazy to get off your ass and do it yourself…oh but wait I can’t do that….”I’m not house trained”.

I’m astonished and a bit angry at This article.  I think I’ll stay away from askmen.com for the rest of the day.

Tiana

Go Ahead Cheat its…Healthy?

I love askmen.com. I log onto that site daily. If anything I log on because some of the articles really aide me in figuring out why my boyfriend leaves the toilet seat up, or why he puts his dirty dish on top of the dish washer rather than putting it in the dish washer, or why he thinks its ok to skip a shower for two days just because he can’t smell himself. But sometimes they go waaaayyyy toooooo farrrrrrr. In an article written in March of 07 “Relationship Correspondent” Curt Smith says “in some cases cheating may be beneficial to a relationship”, “Cheating is not always bad; surprisingly, it can help to improve current relationships”. “men stuck in long-term relationships feel they are missing out on something” Is this guy smoking crack or is it just me? I mean what exactly is a “relationship correspondent” I’m praying to GOD that its not an informal way of saying “relationship expert” because expert he is not.

I’m sure that anyone who has been in a relationship has experience some sort of infidelity at some point. Whether it be you that was unfaithful or them. I have been on the receiving end of cheating and let me tell you it is not healthy nor is it beneficial. If anything it put such a strain on the relationship that I was never able to let it go. I continued to accuse him of being unfaithful even though I knew he hadn’t been. It was just because he HAD been unfaithful and I could never really be 100% sure he would remain faithful to me just because of the fact that he had cheated in the past. I drove myself crazy. I cried A LOT! I didn’t understand why he did it, and often times I wanted to hire a hit man to take care of him (I know some folks who will take a baseball bat to knees for the right price). But none of the thoughts, feelings or emotions that I experienced during that time were HEALTHY. They were the farthest thing from it and not only was it NOT beneficial to the relationship it made me question if the relationship in general was beneficial to me at all. Even the good times we had (and we had some GREAT times) were obsolete and all I could think about was him being with another woman.

Love and commitment is hard enough. It’s an everyday challenge to keep two totally different individuals spontaneous and excited about sharing their life together. My current boyfriend is a computer geek who owns his own companies and finds websites like google, myspace and myyearbook.com to be the best creations since the internet came into existence. I am a girly girl who spends her entire paycheck on clothes, shoes and hand bags, likes to go out and party and stays as far away from her computer as possible unless she is working or making a post on chickchats. I think what we have in common is the fact that we are fascinated with each other and we want to learn as much as we can about one another, but individually we bump heads about certain things and disagree on certain issues. Its hard enough to find a balance where two people can remain sane in light of everyday quirks that we don’t understand about each other. But, to throw cheating into the mix makes the relationship even worse, because now you take the focus off of the things that make you grow as a unit and your focus is immediately distributed to the infidelity.

Cheating is in NO WAY beneficial or healthy for a relationship. And I personally think Curt Smith wrote that article without researching it first. I know of couples who have cheated and who have been cheated on and they stayed in the relationship. I even know a couple who condones constant cheating and their married (swingers). It’s really an individual decision to stay in a relationship that has been tainted by infidelity. But, any action in a relationship that inflicts emotional pain on someone is not healthy or beneficial.

What do you think?

Tiana

You can find Curt Smith’s entire article here

I am the perfect mate…

according to a 24 questiosn quiz on Glam.com.  I love glam.com its the fashionista’s survial website.  It has everything you can think of regarding fashion, love, beauty and bargins.  When I’m bored at work I play on this site and take quizes.  My most recent quiz is called What is your Sexiest Quality and I’ve been dubbed the “perfect Mate” by glam.com here are my results:

Your keen listening skills and helpful, loving spirit portray you as the ideal mate—and who wouldn’t be attracted to that? You’re the kind of person who makes others feel like you really care. As a result, people feel safe enough to reveal themselves to you and trust you with their hearts. Tip: Keep your fashion choices as accommodating and diverse enough to flex with the occasion and company.

The cool thing about their quizes is that they give you your results and then give you photo friendly fashion tips on what would look best on you pertaining to your quiz result.  In this case it gave me the link below as the perfect ensemble of the “Perfect Mate”.  This site is so BAD ASS!  I love it and I’m addicted.

http://www.glam.com/g/p/3000999/34035012/5/34035012/15/24919044/16/24919046/?result=

Go take your quiz.

Tiana

Top Ten Traits of a Great Girlfriend….

The following are the top ten traits that make a great girlfriend according to AskMen.com.  Listed from 10 to 1 look over the list and ask yourself…Are you a great Girlfriend?

10.    She’s Independent

9.    She’s Intelligent

8.    She’s Sexual

7.    She’s Beautiful

6.    She respects you

5.    She lets you be a man

4.    She’s nagless

3.   She gets along with friends and family

2.    She loves you

1.    She makes you want to be a better man.  

Now I am no man hater, in fact I love my man so much that a top ten list doesn’t really apply to us as I make sure that all of the AskMen.com top ten traits are a given, but in the spirit of blogging below is my interpretation of the AskMen.com Top Ten List:

10.    She’s Independent - This means that she is independent enough on any given day to leave him the hell alone when he lounges in the living room drinking beer, eating cheetos and scratching his manhood while he and his buddies watch football or play video games.

9.    She’s Intelligent- She’s intelligent enough to get him out of sticky situations.

8.    She’s Sexual- Basically she’s a freak and more times than not she prefers to be on top so when he’s finished he’s already in the perfect position to roll over and go to sleep.

7.    She’s Beautiful-This is self explanatory who wants to introduce a bogger to friends and family?  Most men THINK they have a reputation to keep….so not true.

6.    She respects you-She respects him enough to not constantly remind him that he’s being an idiot.

5.    She lets you be a man-She lets him think that even though he may feel he knows how to fix the car or find his way out of being lost, she keeps it to herself and doesn’t say anything while he makes an ass of himself.

4.    She’s nagless-Basically she doesn’t bitch at him when he knows he’s wrong.

3.   She gets along with friends and family-She gets along with his mother well enough to refrain her from becoming the opposite of #4 and because your already #7 you’ve got his friends covered.

2.    She loves you-No matter how idiotic he gets she always loves him.

1.    She makes you want to me a better man-When he finally learns how to not be everything from 10-2 he realizes that she in fact has made him a better man.

From a womans point of view the traits of a great girlfriend cannot be made into a top ten list.  Relationships are different certain men are different and certain women are different.  The point of being a great girlfriend or boyfriend for that matter is just to listen to each other, communicate, and generally have their best interest at heart.  If those three things remain the base of your relationship at all times then you can safely conclude that you are an AWESOME girlfriend.

Tiana

Photo taken from www.AskMen.com